This is my new online journal/blog I won't be using this one anymore except for on rare occasions...it's been a good blog for 3 years...but now I moved on to my other one at xanga, it's 3 years old to, but I'm actually writing in that one now. This one is Jarrett's www.xanga.com/the_real_freak_show This one is mine. www.xanga.com/adramalech

Yeah, the month of July was the shittiest month in my entire life. Jarrett broke up w/ me because he needed his space....so we did not see each other for about an entire month, with my heart broken and starving myself. Terrible. Everyday I'd go in my room and cry for hours then fall asleep afterwards. I stopped eating almost all together and lost over 10 pounds in a week. Buuut on the first weekend of August I went to Jarrett's house and cried in his arms for about an entire hour straight while telling him what's been happening and how i've been losing weight...while also cursing at him and telling him that I couldn't believe that he threw me away. Needless to say I made him feel like absolute shit and he said that right when I said, "How could you do this to me?" He said that a part of him just died then. I felt better after making him feel like crap, but at the same time i felt bad for doing it, I hate to see him like that, but then again I had it worse. He then went out w/ this chick named Candis, just to see if he still liked me more than her or anyone else. Which he did. So we got back together on my b-day, August 13. He asked me out. I love him so much, even if he did that shit to me. So now we've been dating(not including the month that we broke up) for about 5 months. Happiness in a teacup. Well, if we continue to date, he said that he might propose within the next 2 years...MAYBE 3 years. I can't wait, cause I know that he cares about me, you can tell that he does. He doesn't know it, but now I want a kid....SHHHH don't tell him! Now that school started, I don't see him as much, but I'm still happy. G2g, bye.

Wow, first post in months! I tried to post about a month ago, but my internet brower wouldn't display the entry page properly. Well, I just saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory two days ago. It was great, I loved Willy Wonka. He was cute. I wanted to hug him. heh. Well. I'm working on a new fanfic at last, but I still have to finish my other ones too...grrrr. Fanfics are fun but difficult to write. And people say that the hardest part is starting it. WRONGO! The hardest part in my opinion is ending the damn thing. grrrrrrrrrrrrr. Shwell...I'm going to go now. bye bye.

I'm currently sitting here in my 4th Hour, thinking about summer vacation and putting a curse on Darius. Well, besides that, I got the new Nine Inch Nails CD With_Teeth. It's not the best CD in the world, but it's pretty good. Did I tell you that the sides of my tongue is now black and purple? I was giving Jarrett a hickey and apparently, I sucked to hard and gave my tongue two hickeys. What fun. I think that it is cool looking, though a bit gross.

Had fun...went to movies with a groupie that consisted of Rudy, Kari, Jarrett and I...saw Amityville Horror. (NOT SCARY!) Went to the mall the next day with Just Kari and Jarrett and I....later we went out to eat and threw french bread at each other.(rock hard bread) Tried to force Jarrett to eat some of my Fried Calamari....Sat on the bottom floor of the mall in the middle of the lobby with Kari screaming "SATAN!" and asking people to join our ritual, which really wasn't a ritual...just acting weird....cracked up a zillion times. Yesterday went to nature trail...hot and not fun, went with Krystal, Annie, and Jarrett. Afterwards, went to a lake...Krystal said that I couldn't go to Jarrett's house unless I swam across the lake. I finally gave up and went in...got in up to my waist before remembering that I was on my time of the month. Screamed, ran out. Krystal said that she would have taken me to his house anyway. Figures that she'd do that. I went there...had to change into a pair of Jarrett's pants. We ended up in many interesting positions...heh heh, while keeping all our clothes on. He finally bit me on the neck and licked it too. That was one hell of a turn on. Was introduced to ICP music. Not a bad band. Loved the boogeyman song. Went home...woke up later, went to school...in Jarrett's pants. Got home, mom couldn't believe the pants that I was wearing, she kept glaring at them. Did shitty homework. And now here I am, writing this. I can't wait until Jarrett is out of S.A.C., so that I can jump him in the hall. Damn the school to eternal hellllllllllll....

I am so depressed right now. Jarrett has S.A.C. for three days...and I feel really bad about slapping Demontra this morning in the hallway...I now have a very guilty conscience. And I'm PMSing and I'm just really sad....I want to cry. And another reason is that I'm obsessed with Jarrett. See, I told my friends that obsessions are bad for your health. Look what it did to me. Jarrett is the only thing I can think about now, for the past few days that is all I've thought about...I just want to stay with him forever and never leave. Just thinking about how lonely I will be for awhile now makes me depressed. I can barely keep my fingers mobile for long enough just to type...I'm cold too. This whole house is always depressing me...Each time I'm here...I'm depressed. I'm going to go for a walk soon. I feel nothing right now. As though my whole body and my feelings went numb. This dull numb feeling I have, makes me feel suicidal, but I'm not going to do anything like that, not again anyway. I seriously want Jarrett so fucking bad. Even if I'm going out with him....I guess I have nothing more to write. Au Revoir.

~GothicVampire~

School was actually awesomer than awesome can get. Here...Allow me to tell you my story about what made today so wonderful.(For once in my life) For the first time in my life I'm excited about going to school! Considering that I'm now going out with Jarrett. Well, the morning wasn't that great though. I went to breakfast, but Jarrett never showed up, mainly because I got there late and he and Kari already went by, but I wasn't there yet. So they went to the gym. Thats okay though. I met him by my locker before first hour, nothing special happened. Buuuuut when 4th hour rolled around, Lyan found out that Jarrett and I were going out, so she isn't too happy. She said that we make a bad couple ALOT of times today. And she kept on going on about how we shouldn't go out. HAHAHAH!!!! Mine and Jarrett's plan worked! She is not happy. She is soooo fucking jealous it's fucking hilarious. Each time she would see me and him together, she'd try to act normal, but you could tell she was holding herself back. She tried to smile and everything, but she had this disgusted look on her face. HEHEHEH. Yeaaaaa, Jarrett and I huggled and stuffs in front of her. Well besides her...let's go onto other things shall we?

Right after 5th hour, I ran as fast as I could to Mrs. Cook's class, cause thats where Jarrett was. We had a groupie of like 5 people, including Cathy. And we talked and laughed, but as soon as Jarrett was about to walk away, I glomped him, resulting in him almost falling over. I was thinking at the time..."You ain't leavin without letting me hug you." Heh.
In 6th hour today, Kari embarrassed me soooo fucking bad. She grabbed both of my arms and pulled them behind my desk onto hers and almost crawled on to me. It looked SOOOO wrong, it looked like bondage. Ashley Rice yelled "Quit feeling her up!" and that caused the whole class to look over at us. Zach Mason had the biggest grin on his face, Rick said "Oh my god." And Mrs. Cook said "Kari, quit it!" And she looked at me and her like really weirdly....She probably thinks I'm a lesbian now. oh well, fuck what she thinks. I'm BI-SEXUAL, not lesbian, I'm mostly straight, but some girls are just hot. And right after class was dismissed, Kari and I walked together down the halls, and right when we saw Jarrett about 20 feet in front of us, Kari screamed his name so damn loud that he jumped along with other people. As soon as he turned around, Kari smiled at him and Dragged me(I had my arm out toward Jarrett) into the girls bathroom, then she shoved me against the wall and boy did it look wrong. REALLY WRONG. she had her hands against my shoulders and got tooooo close for comfort. So, I ran out of the bathroom yelling, "Jarrett help me, I'm being raped!" I ran up to him and we put our arms around each other and I was telling him about how disturbed I was. BUUUUUT I said I would have enjoyed it if it wasn't in class and in school. Heh. Well......I'm talking to Cathy right now. And the topic is Nathan and Jarrett. Heh. Wellllll.........I'm going to go now. See ya.

~GothicVampire~

Hello all. I've got a boyfriend...just last night. Turns out that it was Lyan that kept us from talking. She wanted to go out with him so bad that she made up shit about me and him. She told him that I didn't like him(but i actually did and still do) and she made up shit and told me that he didn't like me either. When in reality, we really wanted to hang out. And we are just now finding this out a month from summer vacation. And I'm going to have to kiss Kari on the cheek at school for getting us started. She called, and wanted me to three way him...I didn't know who the hell I was three waying, so when he picked up, I hung up...resulting with him cursing at the phone. But he decided to call me back. So he called back and we started talking...and talking....it was question after question nonstop. We connected faster than anything I've ever seen. We talked for six hours. He had to go because he had to look for his mom's dog or something like that. Heh. Well Nathan and Zane were there when we were talking. They made SUCH ASSES out of themselves. Those two idiots decided to gallivant in the wrong places. They took a fire extinguisher to the neighbor's front door. Then some other people's house...it went through their ventilation system and it came out the chimney. LOL. They cracked me up so fucking bad. Then Nathan practically shoved a sharpie up his ass. Jarrett said he was "scarred for life" because he saw Nathans bare ass with a marker in between. heh. crazy.

Then there were so many other people that liked Jarrett. Andrea does...Brianna Sanders...Lyan...other people...And me and Jarrett are going to have so much fucking fun when they find out about us. We're going to rub it in their faces. Brianna calls him like every fucking day. Jarrett says that she basically wants him to go prep to meet her standards. And Lyan practically stalked him and asked him multiple time if he wanted to go out. He said no. And one day...Jarrett told Andrea "Take a fucking shower you smelly fuck" Or something along those lines, So she got all pist and stomped off. Well, she does smell worse than any dog I've ever smelt. heheheheh. Fat ugly whore. I can't wait till I see Jarrett on Monday. I'm going to glomp him like a cute little bishonen. okay...so he isn't little, more like a skinny tall skeleton, but still, what's a girl to do? I mean, it's fun to hit on chicks like Kari in all, but I love guys. And this summer or sometime in May, I'm crashing for the night at his house. But DON"T worry, I can guarantee that I'll leave as a virgin. We just plan on sleeping on his bed. Amazingly, his mom won't giva shit. My parents on the other hand...thats a whole different story. But, they won't know that it's him I'm crashing with, I'll just tell them that it's one of my girlfriends that I'm staying with. If you are someone who attends my school, Centennial Middle School, do not tell anyone about our little relationship, or else I'll be forced to rip your throat out, cause, I plan on announcing this myself to see everyone's reactions. This is going to be CLASSIC I tell ya. Well, I'm going to go now. See ya.

~GothicVampire~

Me with Snake eyes...beautiful no?



We Love to play with sharp objects...heh heh.


See ya!

~GothicVampire~

HI!!!! I MISS YOU! I hope your okay where you are. I hope you decide to call again, I'll try to be here the next time. I thought that you've either forgotton about me or you just didn't know my number or blog address anymore. I was beginning to worry. ---Now, onto other things, I saw Constantine...again. Over the weekend, and I'm going to see it again, so that makes it a third time. I LOVED that movie so fucking much. Keanu Reeves was fucking sexy in it, even though he is old enough to be my father. Yes he is 41. Well, if I keep talking about him, I'll end up rambling, so on to other things. I'm planning on writing a Constantine fanfic...........hehehehehe*grins lecherously* Yea you can guess that it's going to contain some hot action and sexuality. Currently listenging to My Chemical Romance, A Perfect Circle, Slipknot and Marilyn Manson. Took some quizzes. Here's one of the results from the "Which Movie Hero Are You?" Quiz, that was a long test. and I was HONEST. I actually took this test about 4 months ago, but I took it again and turned out to be neo again.





And...I think I must have swallowed a love potion or something, cause everyone at school is calling me a sexy bitch, sexy beast, sexy bastard, sexy guygirl, sexy, and fucking sexy....even the girls are saying it. First it was Rick, then Levi, then Kari, then Demontra, then Levi again, then Jason, and some other people. I must be giving off some type of radiation. Well, or it could be that my face looks alot better and stuff...Maybe its the way I dress?

I seem to attract females when I where my ties, suits, and dress shirts with ties. I truely am becoming one hell of a crossdresser. I can't wait till summer vacation, I'm dying some of my hair silver and getting more ear piercings all the way down the sides baby. It's gonna rock so bad. I plan on buying some guy clothes and some more suits. I've actually been feeling....very rebellious for the past few months. It's pissing my parents off. Considering that I curse around them all the time and tell them my future plans. heheh. The other night, me and my aunt were talking on AIM about Keanu Reeves like a bunch of horny teens. I said that he was fucking sexy, then she said that he had a hot body. I agreed and then we started talking about.....other things about him. She's my aunt who is 52 years old, shes just the greatest influence y'know? heh.

My aunt's settlement for 10 million dollars is supposed to be due by this summer, but it could be put off until winter of 2006, that pisses me off so fucking much. We've been waiting for like what? 5 years now? But this case is taking so damn long. Well, or course it would, considering that many people are sueing the same company. Oh well. And considering that We are 100% positive that she is getting the money, I'll be able to start on my journey to fame. It's the money I tell ya, the money that gets ya famous...well most of the time. I've already got my black electric guitar, and guess what I named it Adrian? I call it Juanita. In memory of you, even if your not dead. I want to be a Video game music composer, but I'll probably end up starting out in a band. Oh well. One of my female friends said that she wanted me to be her pimp and she could be my hoe, and we could make a shit load of money like that. I said "HELL. NO." And she has been calling me a sexy bitch for days now. Well I'm going to go now, Sayonara. P.S. To Adrian: I hope to see you again some time.

~GothicVampire~